New Year’s Resolution Revamp
I have never been one for setting new year’s resolutions because like most of us when I do, they never seem to stick. I have a theory as to why and a revamp that you can try out that just may give you exactly what you truly want in the New Year without all the efforting and will power.
Have you noticed that come the end of December we tend to set our goals from a place of feeling like something is missing, or feeling the gap in where we want to be and where we are now? Maybe, like me you have eaten a little to much, spent a little too much over the holidays and the negative emotions that surround these choices tend to lead you towards the “shoulds goals”. I should save more money, or be more financially stable next year. I should go to the gym more and be healthier. I should be further along in my career or life purpose. Nothing wrong with these aims and yes, these are most likely in our best interest but they feel a little heavy-like we need to beat ourselves over the head and kick ourselves into better patterns. It is as if we are saying “I didn’t do as well as I should have this year. “In essence we are motivating ourselves from lower vibrational emotions. These types of goals require a lot of extrinsic motivation or energy input to make them sustainable if we are not truly naturally drawn to doing these things. I don’t know about you but the things I love and enjoy doing never made it to my new years resolutions because I had no problem doing them. Yet, we are taught to will ourselves into being “better”, more this and that and so then we need to goals to “push us” there.
What if there was a more direct and more enjoyable approach to “there” that utilizes a more renewable resource-your desire, positive emotions and intrinsic motivation?
At the end of any get me to “there” goal is the belief that it will allow us to feel better. So, what if we pinpoint what those emotions are that we are seeking and we find the most direct approach to them now-not after losing the 10 lbs or saving 10k or acquiring that better job. So, if I want to lose weight and improve my health-how will that allow me to feel that I don’t feel currently? More confidence, more peace, greater energy and motivation, satisfaction? That is truly my goal then!
STEP 1: Break your aim into what emotions or states of being you will experience when you achieve it. Narrow it to 3 if you can.
Spend some time really playing with this until the 3 states or emotions you select really start to excite you and you feel that “zing” of truth.
Now, that you know how you want to feel and what you want to experience then you open the gates for more creative paths to get you there. Here is where the energy conservation comes in. Let’s go back to the goal about improving your health. In the old approach I would will myself to the gym, or running or doing something that I was not obviously drawn to because I am needing a goal or strategy to get myself there. Limitation is never very motivating. Limiting options (like diets) often have the reverse effect. Limiting ways to get you there stifles your desires and natural creativity so let’s try a new way. Consider the activities and options that you are naturally drawn to that allow you to feel some of these end state emotions you selected.
STEP 2: What desires are naturally arising that yield positive emotional states for you NOW?
Are you feeling a draw to learn guitar? Do you really enjoy cooking? Have you been curious about learning a language, or taking a class? Do you love walks in the woods or going to yoga? Would you love to spend 10 minutes a day enjoying your coffee while reading a good book? These are often desires that we neglect or leave for when we “have extra time”. Bring these desires forward and see how this can instantly shift your emotional state and start to tap into your creativity and intuition. It may seem counter intuitive but essentially we are reverse engineering our way to those end state goals. The better we feel, the more our mind is open and receptive to ideas and our natural creativity. Ever been struggling with a problem and then you went on a walk or did something where your mind relaxed and your mood shifted and a brilliant idea emerged or you figured out the solution. Sometimes the fastest way to “there” is outside of what our mind has calculated as the best route.
Step 3: Commit to doing something that you really enjoy or desire daily for as much time as you sustain over a period of time
So let’s say that your draw is not to go to the gym or start a running routine but rather what you would really love is to learn to play guitar. You may think, this is not a very high calorie burning activity and what does this have to do with my health? Actually it can have more than you think. How we feel determines what we think and how we act. When you feel better, you have a more positive and open mindset and this often allows you to make better choices for yourself. So, in spending 15 minutes a day playing guitar, watching a youtube video to learn a chord, or taking a lesson-you will feel those enjoyment emotions arise. You may feel more happiness, contentment, satisfaction. This may give you some new insights about your life and choices and who knows you just may be naturally motivated to act in new ways. And even if none of that were true, you are brining those good feeling emotions into your day now not in 3 months. So, you start getting the payback immediately.
Remember it is not about how long but the consistent dosing of these feel good emotions. Even 15 minutes a day can be life enhancing. Just get the emotional (energy in motion) train going and try to keep it moving even if you only have 5 minutes a day (but we all know we all have more than that if we really desire something different.)
STEP 4: Be fluid and follow the emotions
It is ok if you change your mind and some days it isn’t guitar but maybe it is that 10 minutes of non-rushed enjoyment of your coffee or a walk on your lunch break instead of checking email. Maybe instead your daily comittment is to doing something that feels good in your body each day. The emotions and how we feel is the path not the chasing the right step. If you are feeling yourself climb the ladder of emotions then you are on track. Energy is a magnet to like energy. So when you feel grateful you attract more experiences to be grateful. Feeling more enjoyment magnetizes more activities that yeild the same. This is physics not “woo woo mumbo jumbo”. Permission yourself to truly follow what feels good not what you think should feel good. I have seen this work time and time again. I have followed what I am drawn too and received way faster results than willing myself to do something that I was not that motivated to do.
BONUS STEPS: Bookend your day with positivity doses
The first 10-20 minutes of your day and the last are the most crucial moments if you really want to make a change. See my additional blog posts on these topics: The most important moment of your day. Genius Level Multi tasking. This is when our subconscious is most impressionable!
Right when you wake up, try to infuse some positive emotional energy into your day.
Take 10 deep breaths to clear your mind and bring in what you want to your day
Listen to something positive (music, podcast, book)
Meditate
Recall 1 thing you are really, really truly grateful for and hold that person, object or place in your heart
Visualize yourself experiencing what you most desire, or in your favorite place or doing your favorite activity
Right before you drift off, infuse some positivity as you enter sleep:
Ask your intuition for a solution, or creative idea and thank your brilliant creativity for the help. Assume it will be done. How great will that feel?
Listen to a sleep prep audio that relaxes you and sets an intention
Recall what went really well in your day
Visualize something inspiring (how you want your day to go tomorrow, you in your future self when your goal is accomplished, you on your dream vacation)
I hope you will give this new year’s resolutions revamp a try and let me know what happens! Cheers to a new year full of delightful surprises and lots of good feelings along the way!