“The Unexpectedly Truth about Safety”
“Exponential Receiving” Retreat in Lanikai August 26-30, 2024
YOU are the theme--Everything in your life is valuable
Open to the most easeful and delightful way forward.
Embrace a new approach with new tools
"True security is not the absence of danger, but the presence of self."
The Illusion of Safety
I'm going to make a bold statement: There is no such thing as safety. It's an illusion we chase our entire lives. We buy alarms, locks, insurance, and enter agreements like marriage and contracts to feel safe. We plan, strategize, and invest in a future that promises security. We sign up for programs that guarantee results. But if you're honest, these attempts have probably failed you at some point.
Failed marriages, unexpected job losses, disappointing investments, and people who weren't there for us... we've all experienced the breakdown of "safety." These moments leave us feeling vulnerable, fearful, angry, abandoned, and lost not at all what we bargained for in these “safe” places. So, naturally, we try to avoid these uncomfortable emotions at all costs.
Before you decide that this post is another piece of depressing news, stay with me. I want to direct you to the only “fail safe” place. In this place you will find freedom, peace and the deep steadiness that we are all craving, especially during these turbulent times. This place will source your truth, your road map and your moment to moment guidance on how to handle any situation that comes your way desirable or undesirable.
The True Source of Security
This isn't a system, process, or destination. It's – YOU.
This may sound overly simplistic but it is actually a space that I surely avoided most of my life. We are taught from infants to orient to the external and in our youth this is our caregivers. They tell us what is safe because on many levels we are dependent on them. Then as we mature we surely gain our independence and learn to take care of shelter, food,and financial needs but something often is amiss. We are not really taught how to orient back to ourselves for our essential needs of safety and connection. We just replace our caregivers with those “safe” places I mentioned above.
Why do we need to orient back to ourselves?
When we place our desire for safety and security in something external, we give it our power. We let it define what is safe and what is not and then “it” has the control. If our safety is placed in our job and then we lose our job then we have lost our safety. When we orient back to ourselves, we reclaim our power and our ability to define safety not in terms of what something outside of us will do for us (or not do) but as a place of being with ourselves at all times and trusting that we know best how to care for ourselves. We claim our safety as an inside job and exonerate anything outside of ourselves to give it to us. When we claim safety within therefore we reside in our power as creator, writer and definer of our experiences.
This does not mean we do not invest, partner, participate in exchanges of money, time and resources, it just changes the how we do it. We stop doing it to avoid feeling what we will inevitably feel if we are oriented towards the external for security reasons.
How do we orient to ourselves?
This is the simple and yet deep work of learning how presence with our emotions rather than avoid them. We don’t leave ourselves when the discomfort comes instead we learn to take care of ourselves and move through it step by step. Just like our care takers took care of our needs we learn to do an even better job because we are the only ones that truly know what we need, how we need it and how to receive it. We unhook from taking others guidance and desires over our own. We may receive input but we weight it within and determine if it lands and trust ourselves.
Disclaimer, most people are not taught how to do this because it was not adequately modeled for us by our caretakers. I certainly learned people pleasing instead of emotional processing and over functioning as avoidance. I ran many marathons and competed in many triathlons running from the discomfort of my life. But then I found another way.
Orienting Now
Truly the mission and the destination we are all reaching towards is ourselves. This is the home base we yearn for underneath all the superficial desires. When we learn to be with ourselves then we touch an authencity and realness and what we create from this place is so much more meaningful, enduring and fulfilling on a soul level. I say this from a deep knowing of my own experience. Every layer deeper I have traveled within has been reciprocated with expressions that feel so much more authentic and pure and I need less external validation because I have validated them first.
With current events and astrological energies creating instability, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. Notice how you feel and where those feelings show up in your body. Prioritize self-care, spend time in nature, and ask yourself what you need. Refrain from judgment or blame. Emotions simply need care, presence, and space to move through.
Guidance for Growth
If you want to truly own your ability to remain steady amidst chaos and expand in all areas of life, learning to self-orient and process emotions is essential. If you'd like support on this journey, consider booking a coaching session with me or join me in Lanikai on retreat.
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