The Slow down Solution: Unlocking time & self-worth

What does lack of time and self-worth have in common?

"In a world addicted to speed, I blur the moments into one unholy smear." – Pico Iyer

Time—one of our most valuable resources, yet so many of us find ourselves in short supply. What if I told you that to gain more time, all you had to do first was adjust your "pace in space," and this would also lead you toward greater self-worth? I recently wrote a post on ending time constraints, but I wanted to add a prequel because, if you were like me, you might need a softer start.

When I was on the verge of making a big shift, time was something I felt like I chased. I wanted to devote more time to my passions and personal life, yet my schedule didn't seem to let up. Even when it did, it often came at a cost. This left me feeling unfulfilled and wondering if there was another way.

Then, I came across the term "rushing woman's syndrome" coined by Libby Weaver (though I think this syndrome is present no matter your gender). Tell me if this sounds familiar: an inbox full of unread emails, a never-ending to-do list, incessantly multitasking, constantly feeling pulled to balance between personal, family, and work demands. In short, perpetually busy and stressed.

You may be thinking, "But I'm not stressed—I can make it all work!" You might be a highly functioning person who has adapted to the stress and consequences without even knowing it. However, even those of us who aren't experiencing perpetual busyness can still fall prey to the opposite side of the spectrum: moving without intention. Both are sneaky ways of 1) not valuing yourself and 2) not valuing your time. The results are the same: lack of this precious resource and a lack of fulfillment in the time you do have. Let me explain.

Let's start by debunking the myths that keep us in these reactive patterns:

• Myth: If I move faster, I will be more productive.

• Myth: If I multitask, I will be more efficient.

• Myth: I can effectively balance many competing activities, people, and priorities simultaneously while maintaining my values, fulfillment, and being my best.

  And then I will have time for me, my passions, my personal life, my loved ones…

Reality Check:

When we rush, multitask, and allow ourselves to be pulled apart by our schedule, we're energetically sending the message of, "I don't have enough time, so I have to fractionate my awareness and energy into mini-parts to get it all done fast because I'm losing time!" We have the illusion of efficiency and productivity, but the underlying signal is one of lack.

If you had plenty of time, would you really operate this way? Be honest! You may even be feeling resistance to what I'm saying—I know I sure did when I first heard it. I was so certain it was just "how I rolled" and how else could one be successful?

But energy follows energy, so using this method will never yield more time. As you check one thing off your list, another one emerges. You'll be on the hamster wheel perpetually. Trust me, I rode it for decades. You can be effective to the degree you're willing to barter your sense of fulfillment in how you spend the time you have.

When we fracture our awareness, we diminish ourselves and cut ourselves off from the resources of our higher wisdom. If we're in "stress mode," our body responds by allowing the command center to our more primal system that focuses on survival. We limit our creativity, reduce our vital energy, and diminish our presence. This is like having a calculator but doing complicated math by hand (disregard this analogy, math whizzes). Our decision-making suffers, but so does our enjoyment of what we're doing. Instead of a serving of our favorite food, we survive on crumbs.

Other impacts of operating from chronic, often adaptive, stress are: digestive issues (including weight gain), adrenal fatigue, hormonal imbalance, not to mention the mental and emotional impacts, and insomnia.

Science now proves that multitasking decreases your productivity while spiking your cortisol. Rushing around is no different. Speed signals shortage or being in a race, hence more stress hormones.

So, what's the remedy?

Aligning your pace with the type of space you wish to occupy.

• How do you want to feel as you move about your day?

• What kind of energy do you want to transmit?

Move at that pace despite what the environment around you is pulling you towards.

When I gave myself permission not to rush and not to multitask, I feared that I would be perpetually late, never complete my responsibilities, and feel like I was failing.

The reality was quite different. I noticed greater synchronicity. Meetings somehow got rescheduled or ended up starting later. Red lights turned green. I found creative ways to do the work more efficiently. I connected differently with those I interacted with and truly heard what people were saying beyond their words. I was able to notice what activities I really enjoyed and what was a "waste of my time" and unfulfilling. I was able to notice how my body really felt, not what my mind was telling my body. And best of all, I felt way less stressed and more fulfilled. I felt like I was actually inhabiting my life, not racing against it.

I started to value myself and my time, and magically, I felt like I had more time. I actually found more time for what I wanted to do, and making the hard decisions to clear out what wasn't serving became easier because I was conscious of its impact.

Our intention is one of the most powerful tools we have. It's like "pre-paving" or previewing the movie of our lives. We can start to know how the experience will be. This is no different than when we worry about something, and then it happens. We think we were justified in worrying, but really we just lined up the energy as creators to bring our fears into being.

Our emotional state matters because it's the type of fuel we're adding to all we do. If we move in a disconnected or distracted state, we won't be able to fully receive what the experience has to offer. We miss the gifts of our time investments.

So, if you're yearning for more fulfillment or for the sweet feeling of plenty of time for all that you desire, then know it starts with you. You are worthy of what you desire, and you are the creator of it. Start deciding what kind of relationship you will have with time, and create it. Start by moving in a way that echoes how you want to feel and the impact you want to have on those around you. Not only will you change your relationship with time, but your relationship with yourself and others will be enhanced as well.

This is how you can roll, living life in the genius zone.