On the path to Exponential Self, doubt will arise
How to navigate “the wobble”
This Blue Heron graced my walk this weekend. I think his message was “keep on fishing”, no matter how many times you duck in the water and come up empty (which he did many times). He did however catch many fish to my surprise in this small creek.
I remember when my daughter was learning to walk. She first started pulling up, then resigning to go back to fast crawling. Then she would feel more at ease taking a few steps...later pushing something for support and then one day “Oila!” she walked for a few feet on her own..and still she went back to crawling.
She wobbled frequently along this process. At no point did I expect her not to. She was learning. The wobbles, and falls were an important part of the process. It took practice. But there was never a question of whether she would learn how to walk – of course she would!
The challenges cause the wobbling, which builds confidence every time we get back up.
On the path of becoming our exponential self, we take risks, challenge the status quo, and radically change our baseline behaviors and choices. Of course there will be times when we doubt, question the path and “wobble” in our steadiness to continue.
For me it can happen if I share my dream with someone and they have a critical response or they look at me like I am delusional. Sometimes an unforeseen event happens that I interpret as “a bad sign”. Maybe I pour a lot of energy into an idea and the results don’t seem to be coming as fast or in the form that I expect. Any number of things can trigger a wobble I have found.
Essentially, I think we must expect that the wobble will happen as it is a part of any process of delving into the unknown terrain of our unrealized dreams.
How we relate with our wobbly moments is where we can exercise our genius powers.
One of the most beneficial skills that I have been able to master is the skill of re-alignment.
Whereas before, I would wobble for days and maybe weeks, and watch myself spiral, I have learned to recognize when I am wobbling and then quickly re-align using an array of tools.
This is a game changer for not losing your power when you most need it. I'll share some with you, so keep reading.
Let’s start with, how do you know you’re wobbling? An easy sign: Your emotions!
You start to feel bad. You may also notice unhelpful thought loops or fear-based behavior. Because our emotions, thoughts and behaviors are all linked, when one goes dark then others follow. It is a double-edged sword though, if we can shift one of those aspects, we can shift the others!
Maybe you can spot your thoughts faster than your emotions or see fear based constrictive actions faster than hearing your thoughts. No matter what you can notice, notice the shift and pause. I find it helpful to name “I am wobbling" or "I feel a wobble may be on the brink.” This helps me normalize it so I don’t start to feel bad about the wobble (stacking the cards against myself).
Now, to the good part, How do you shift a wobble?
This is where it is helpful to have a full tool belt of practices and tactics that you can try. Everyone is different and even for me sometimes what I usually do doesn’t work and I try another one.
Essentially, you want to shift your emotional state, your thought streams or your actions. I always go for what will shift the fastest.
So, if your thoughts are really caught up in the wobble, go for an activity that can shift you into a better feeling place.
The goal is to re-align yourself with your full presence and your wisdom self, the self that knows that no matter what is happening it isn’t as bad as you are perceiving it in the wobble state.
I have picked up a variety of tools over the years from many different modalities. I will share one from each category with you.
My #1 go to re-alignment practice: Listening or reading something that reminds me of “my why” or the TRUTH. I keep my exponential self dream journal on my desk and it has many facets and details of the exponential life I am creating-my WHY. I also have some youtube videos that I love to listen to that remind me of what is possible. They evoke inspiration and a feeling of resonance.
Re-alignment Action Practice: Breathwork. "As the breath so the mind" as my kundalini teacher would say and she was right. When we get stressed our breathing shortens and constricts. This affects our brain immediately. Just 3 minutes of breathwork can cause a biochemical shift. My favorite breath practice is alternate nostril as it balances the hemispheres of the brain (the rational mind and the creative mind). Here is a link to a video for this practice.
Re-alignment Emotional Practice: Visualize anything that you love or feel any array of positive emotions like gratitude, appreciation, excitement. This can be a pet, a family member, a place in nature, your home, an upcoming or recent trip. You just want to generate a shift in emotional state. This doesn’t mean you go from depressed to joy. But if you go from fear to neutral that is a shift!
Re-alignment Thinking Practice: Journaling. Simply write out all your thoughts without editing. Get them all on the page no matter how crazy or real they feel. This practice works by allowing you to release the thoughts instead of allowing them to build up momentum in your head. You don’t need to solve the problems that your thoughts give rise to. Just give some attention to your thoughts. Most of the time this allows for a de-escalation which then can allow you to shift from the limbic part of your brain to the pre-frontal cortex which allows for more spacious and creative thinking!
Ok, so we agreed that the wobbling is normal and will happen, AND this doesn't mean that it should be the norm.
There are way you can create a more stable environment for yourself. Here are some tips for preventing excessive wobbling:
Be selective with who you share your desires and dreams with. Remember that many people are a part of your past system and when you decide to grow exponentially some may not understand and support you (not consciously). They will often project their own fears or insecurities into the conversation.
Be clear when you do share your tender dreams if you do not desire feedback or comments. I recommend instead asking for what would be supportive for your own process. This helps people know what do instead of guessing.
Create a cocoon around and for yourself when you are building your dreams and crafting your exponential self, because this is a time between you and you. Protect this sacred space from the external world until you feel more steady, aligned and clear. Keep a list of re-alignment techniques handy to remind yourself when you need them.
Keep support around you in the form of a coach mentor, guide, trusted allies that can hold the space for your exponential growth and remind you that what you desire IS possible.
Stay committed to your practices that connect you to yourself, the moment, your values, your spirit and do them FREQUENTLY.
Check out my website under the support section for articles on these topics.
So friend, if you are in or have felt a wobble, you are not alone. See this as the sign that you are growing exponentially.
Ride that wave back to yourself.
And remember why you are growing exponentially...because there is a genius inside of you, inviting you to expand your paradigm of joy, freedom and unlimited potential.
You're learning the most magnificent walk, and that my friend, is on the other side of the wobble...
With Love, Jill
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