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Embracing Uncertainty

Can you feel it? If we all pause for long enough I am certain we can all feel the heightened awareness of these times. On a very deep level we may be aware of the subtle or profound shifts that are allowing for healing to occur on all levels. This Friday we complete the eclipse season with a lunar eclipse in Pisces on the South Node of the moon dealing with our past, karma, and endings. Pisces is the universal solvent, the place of undoing and surrender to the vast essence of life. Pisces is also the ocean of infinite potential and universal love. What is ending? Anything and everything! It can be our fixed ways of thinking, relating, living and seeing ourselves and each other that keep us feeling separate and wounded or in control. It can be our innocence to the reality of situation that needs tending. Relationships, jobs and situations that despite our clinging could be coming to a close. All of these endings bring so much uncertainty. We are caught with our hands open  in the spaciousness of the present where so much is possible yet nothing is certain. The medicine for this time? Be present, know that the only certainty is held in the embodied present moment.  Be certain you are fully here and here being in your body and not your thoughts about this moment. Become humbled in all the ways in which you struggle and choose to remain in resistance to what is and what has been, this humbleness will allow us to see ourselves in each other and bring us together on this path. No one has it all figured out. No one has a clean record. But when you can truly see with clarity the fullness of who you are you become a servant to your healing and the healing of our world. Make peace with what is, your pain, your imperfections, your past and your uncertainty with what the future holds. Connect and stay open in your heart so that you can feel the connection that we have to each other when we become warriors of love. This love starts as an inside job yet has the capacity to change the world as we know it. That is what this eclipse is about, embracing ourselves in our uncertainty. 

The Sun in Virgo has been taking us on the ride of focus and discernment. It has also been a path to healing our bodies. (Anyone else been dealing with all those body aches and pains highlighting where we may have opportunities to open some energy?) We are sorting through the necessary and the non-essential of our life and sensing where we need some focused effort to allow for greater wellness and integration of what is worthy. (Body pain may direct this attention, mind you.) This is all and good as long as we are not fixated in perfecting every flaw we uncover and judging and separating the self we are learning more about (this is good and this is bad about me). This week retrograde Mercury, calling us into a deeper reflection into these Virgo themes, conjoins the sun prior to the eclipse. We are perhaps seeing some extra light and attention on where we feel we need to improve, clean up along the lines of our inner communication. We are witnessing a lot of our thoughts and perhaps how they may impact our improvement or our propensity to keep us spiraling in patterns that do not serve us. This is a call to create new neural pathways in our brain by first realizing where we seem to short circuit our progress. Where do we continue to get hooked (deny, check out, project onto others)? Once we can  know our triggers we can choose new responses to our habitual patterns.  We cannot control what triggers us but we can control our response. Presence will allow us to choose new patterns once we see how the old patterns affect us on a body, mind and soul layer. It must be said that doing this work is very difficult especially when we get to those places that we don't want to go and have been avoiding. Here is where Chiron will come in to help....

Chiron is conjoined to the moon during this eclipse. Chiron is our wound, what we can see and serve to others without giving to ourselves. Chiron in Pisces is where we feel separate due to our imperfections, our pain, our illusions and where our stories keep us confirming a reality that does not exist. There is no such thing as a true story. There is the present and our awareness in real time reality and there is our story about it. Sometimes we retell our stories over and over again in our mind because we think they protect us from the truth that will hurt and cause us to feel pain. The truth is our stories keep us from feeling our pain and healing. With Chiron we are asked to put aside our stories and to feel deeply into what we are hiding from. To lean into our pain and to get into the space of our heart. In this space we can tend to our pain and instead of seeing it as our flaw to fix, it can be our gift. When we see all parts as necessary components of our wholeness then we unite and integrate. When separation is dissolved healing occurs. When we have touched pain and our tenderness deeply we are more willing to be compassionate and empathetic to others in theirs. This is what Pisces teaches, to dissolve barriers. This is universal love. We are not in this alone. Even in our deepest, darkest places there is company. Others paths may not look the same, others triggers may not mirror yours but we all have them. Remembering this helps us choose to act with compassion. Does beefing up your defenses and proving your righteousness ever make the pain go away for good? Does story telling ease the suffering for the long haul? The sweetness we can offer another is purely a reflection of the sweetness that we are able to offer ourselves. Healing brings us to that same uncertainty. How do we heal? What does surrender look like? What does leaning into the pain feel like? We are again left in the vast ocean of spaciousness and presence. Remember, though you are not swimming alone!

The last piece of this eclipse is Mars in Sagittarius square to Chiron conjoined the Moon and square to the Sun. Mars in Sagittarius has inspired us to be wiser in our actions. Can we expand the way we act to draw from a deeper place of truth and wisdom instead of just effort for action's sake? We are also being asked to expand our paradigm of ourselves to be outside of the polarities of right and wrong. Rather than trying to use external measures to dictate our efforts we are asked to draw upon the wisdom that it is never either or but both and more. We do not have certainty in any action we take or any outcome we intend other than the certainty that in this moment this action feels in truth and alignment with who we are today. We must remember that we are always expanding and so we must allow for our molds of our self to be made of soft clay and not hard stone. We must be firm in our ability to act decisively when necessary and also to be able to withhold action and float when action is a way of escaping the uncertainty of the present moment. 

In the fall we see the commencement of the football season.  Perhaps we are familiar with this same way of moving through life in the past. We will get our pads and guards on so that we can brace for the unexpected and those painful blows. We will heighten up our defenses so are ready to push through and focus on the number one goal-to win and get what we want. Someone wins the game and someone loses. Unfortunately, this way of living will keep us clinging to comfort and security, thinking we can somehow outsmart the fundamental laws of the universe which teach us we truly cannot stabilize a life that is in constantly evolving and that we can control and avoid pain and discomfort. What is a more helpful image to aspire to in these times is to swim with the current, with our heads above water. Pointing our strokes toward the shore and allowing for course correction as we know the current will have its own pathway. We can swim at a pace that is not too fast or choppy to prevent from being depleted and disconnected from our breath and the natural current of the water yet not too slow that we feel we are simply treading water. We also want to allow for times to float on our back, gaze skyward, and take in the view and moment to enjoy being held by the mighty waters remembering why we are even swimming and to absorb the fact there are others in the water with us. This is a time to embrace our uncertainty.  Impermanence is the only certainty. When we are fixed in the "rock mind" of thinking the we know how it will go, that this is right and this is wrong, and this is how it has to be done then we might as well put our pads on and play football and prepare to get beat up. When we can temper ourselves to stay fully present in each moment in the "water mind" of fluidity and adaptability we can claim a momentary certainty in our choices that echo our truth and embodiment but we can surrender to the universal truth that we have no ability to control the outcome or the future. Not to give up and to claim that swimming is a futile effort because we will never know the outcome. But to realize the gift of impermanence in every decision keeps us open hearted and open to life. In the moment that we claim the truth and we act from it, in another moment it may possibly be the truth that we must depart from that action to stay in present time truth.  This leaves us in a very spacious place of unlimited possibilities and this brings us full circle back to Pisces. 

May you see as clearly with your eyes closed as when wide open, May you find tenderness in what you sense, courageously opening your heart alongside your eyes, May you embrace the freshness of this moment and all the blessings it bestows, may you revere those gifts with softness knowing their brief visit will make them even sweeter. May you see all beings as your opportunity to expand the way you practice loving yourself and honoring this life. May you lay your arrows down and replace them with flowers gifting others in their pain and even in their retaliation. May we all claim the title of warriors of love, embracing the uncertainty of what that means and the challenge to allow it to unfold moment by moment in our waking.

Love to you all!

Earlier Event: September 5
New Grooves
Later Event: September 19
The space between