We survived the intensity of last Wednesday's lunar eclipse. All I can say is Wow! Such big energies were moving through us. I felt so many physical effects, mental effects and emotional effects..it was in a sense debilitating for a few days. Emotions from frustration, sadness, judgement, confusion, tiredness, lack of motivation..all flowing through me. I am just barely feeling normal again or whatever that means any more. We are all still integrating this eclipse and the shifts that an eclipse brings upon us on many deep levels. You may be wondering what was the all that about? What am I supposed to do with all of it? You may be feeling the change in energies from all the water and we were swimming in to the flood of fire we are now experiencing wanting to light a fire under us to do something yet unsure of what to do. We have lots of fire and lots of Aries energy causing us to feel restless and ready to go but the lack of air may keep us away from the perspective and clarity that we desire. We also don't have much earth so you may feel a little ungrounded still. The energies are still changing and sorting and much of what we knew has changed and is changing. We are beginning new things yet the old is still transforming to the new and the new is well you know, it is new. So, in summary we can feel really out of place. We are left with remnants of what was and yet no clear path as to what direction we are going. We have the gas and the new car yet no trip plan since the destination seems foggy since we decided we were going on a trip!
This week Mercury will conjoin with Uranus is Aries, so our thinking is changing, we need to liberate the ways in which we were connecting the dots to our story. We may feel more in touch mentally with our desires and yearn be more independent, passionate and impulsive with our speech and communication. We may need to tell a new story to ourselves that we were not taught from the authorities that we have been following our whole life. The standard for what is "right" for us is changing as we heal and integrate all that our own experience is teaching us. Lilith will be is opposition to this transit so shadow work is still available to let us see where we hide from the truth and where we are out of balance. Our relationships will fill in the gaps of where we need to take a closer look inside in order to gain the whole picture. So, key into those desires and let them have a voice. They deserve some air time. They will start to give you vision and direction even if it is not as clear as you want at this point. It is about taking the small steps and doing what you can with what you know. Sometimes we just have to trust the knowing and have faith that we are being guided from within. You don't have to do it alone. You can be true to your desires and still be able to parter with others. It does not have to be either or.
This week also, Venus will conjoin with Chiron in Pisces. So deep healing in our relationship with ourselves and with others is transpiring. We are starting to feel the unification of the parts of ourself that have been hidden or suppressed. We may be finding a deeper love for ourself and for others. We may start feeling more call for more downtime and a slower pace so that we can feel more alive and full in our life. But Jupiter in Virgo won't let us just sit and meditate on this healing forever. We need to do the work of letting these truths have some form, to let them be evident in our work and in our bodies. We need to take the steps to take better care of ourselves. We need to continue cleaning out the stories and behaviors that keep us disconnected and wounded. As we heal our hearts we need to share that love and healing with others. See ourselves in each other.
Part of all of this healing, is the healing of the polarities of believing choices in our life are right or wrong. Is this path the right one or this this path the wrong one? Is this decision right or wrong? Polarity as experienced so deeply during eclipse seasons allow us to truly feel the energy of oppositions. This can leave us feeling torn apart and fractionated. Like we cannot choose because we have reasons to justify both. Polarity gives the illusion that one must choose a direction or decision that is either or. This eclipse helped me understand that is simply not the case. When we meet opposition/polarity/ a fork in the road, we are asked to make a decision, a step, a choice. For me this all to often involves me trying to think it through. I make two simultaneous lists: lists for and lists against my either or choices. The problem with this way of interacting with life is that we are not in our body, our deeper timeless wisdom in our heart, and our intuition. We are in our minds, our patterns, and our perceptions of how we are interpreting life and its meaning. If our mind is sharp enough we can possibly justify either choice so the deliberation can be endless. Every single one of us has the ability to feel instantly if a decision feels good, in the flow, expansive, synchronistic with life and our intentions to experience life in the ways we feel our most authentic. Now, I will admit many times this knowing is ignored or replaced by what I think I "should" do or I should not. . As one of my favorite teachers said last week "Don't should all over yourself" but we do. We immediately take it to the mind and think it out. This will bring us to polarity, right or wrong, instead of feeling into does this feel appropriate for this moment. In this place of deep feeling and dialogue with the heart there is no right or wrong, just simply a decisions to make in the present that all allow us continue growing and expanding. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying in listening to the heart that every decision is easy, joyful and not scary. I am saying that there is a step or movement toward that which feels like energy continues to move in a direction that feels "right" and choices that can simply be ignored and released because its movement seems to stagnate the energy or compress it. If we can see opportunities as neutral or just steps then we can simply just choose ones that feel good and support our movement in each moment to that which expands us. There is no judgement either way. There may be consequences to our choices but we can refrain from feeling that they are punishments. We can see the responses to our actions as more or less food for our growth with different flavors...some we like and some we do not so we will keep trying new flavors to hone in on the ones we enjoy most.
Allowing ourself to trust our intuition and to recognize that it is available instantaneously keeps us in OUR truth. We do not need others to validate our choices or our truth. We do not need special training. We do not need a lot of time or deep thinking. We need to breathe, feel our body and allow the deep wisdom to speak. We become the guide, the teacher and the expert for ourselves. This frees us from so many shoulds, false truths, and patterns of behavior that do not serve the present form of who we are. We learn to trust ourselves with the decisions we make and we strengthen our connection to our intuitive wisdom that is timeless and personal to our life and body unlike many of the wisdom that is out there today.
We get to be present in this moment and the ways we are in harmony and synchronization with this moment. We can realize that the only path is the path of the now, the present. We don't need to chase down the "right" path that will get us to where we need to be because that is just a fallacy keeping us in the future and not the present, keeping us hostage from enjoying what is before us now in the ways we can and feeling what we actually feel. We can choose to make peace with ourselves and our decisions now instead of second guessing and remorsing over what we chose. We can remember that we are never missing the path, we are just experiencing a new turn to the path we are already on.
So use this fire this week to get in touch with the deep passions and desires within you. Initiate and start taking the steps in honoring and expressing what you need to follow the truths that are being revealed to you by you. Allowing the process to be just a mysterious unfolding of the path you cannot miss.
The moon: Mon-Tues: Sagittarius (fire:expand); Wed-Thur (Capricorn: earth;accomplish); Saturday-Sun (Aquarius: air; liberate)
Love to you all!